I had high expectations of how I wanted to feed my baby before giving birth. As a healthcare worker, I know the benefits of breast milk vs formula, not to mention the financial benefits. I had heard about the wonderful bond that breast feeding creates with mom and baby and how much pressure society and social media put on new moms to provide their baby with breastmilk. I met with the lactation specialist prior to birth and thought that I knew all the things. 

                  Nothing went as planned and actually I knew nothing. I had lost a lot of blood during the difficult delivery; I had received a unit of blood afterwards. Between this and being away from my baby for over 24 hours after delivery, the cards were stacked against us and our breastfeeding journey was off to a rough start. It really never recovered. 

                  I had no idea how to correctly position baby for optimal latch, I didn’t know what to even look for. It felt like all baby wanted to do was nurse. I ended up meeting with a lactation specialist and Tracy was amazing in all ways necessary. Between listening to my concerns, quieting my anxiety, and providing me with positive feedback and knowledge; we made serious progress. She didn’t tell me that supplementing was wrong or push her feelings onto me, but she gave me important information to help me reach my goals. But after eight weeks, it was all just too overwhelming for me. 

                  My husband and I talked about it, and we decided that we would switch to formula. We had been supplementing throughout those eight weeks, and it was not an easy decision. When we finally made the choice, there was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I found that the pressure I was putting on myself to provide for my baby was too much and in fact was probably affecting my supply. I instantly found relief in the decision, and I continue to stand by the fact that indeed, fed is best. I was happier, my baby was happier, and it was the best thing to do for us.  

                  I still envy those mamas out there that are able to exclusively breastfeed their baby, but I know that it’s not easy for anyone. Pumping is a full-time job in itself not to mention all the other things going on to ensure you have enough milk for your baby. In the end, formula was what worked for us. I hope new mamas will read this and it will help them understand that everyone’s story is different. You know what’s best for baby and you can trust your mama instincts. As a mom, we always want what’s best for our babies, but remember, you have to take care of yourself too!